Early this morning, just after midnight, TJ passed away peacefully surrounded by his wife Amanda, his family and pups by his side. TJ’s last few weeks were spent with the ones he loved - visiting with friends and family, lighting wish lanterns over a calm Nantucket Sound, and listening ​...

Mostly silence… the gentle hum of a sound machine drowns out any noise of a not-so sleeping city. The deep, rhythmic breaths of my wife now long asleep. The whimpers, growls and paddling feet of two puppies chasing down their enemy squirrel in playful dreams. Yet here I lay, so desperately wanting to join that other realm, to escape the physical and mental pains of my tormentors hidden deep within, to drift off to another land and let my brain ...

Due to the length of the update please excuse the lack of creative content while I simply provide you with an update on the current state of the battle. An actual blog will eventually follow once treatment settles in and things calm down a bit.   =-)

Much Love – Teej

Health Update: Previous to last October I was on a treatment FOLFIRI Erbitux for about about a year. This cocktail of drugs was extremely successful at keeping the cancer in my ...

For every negative, there is a positive. With debilitating illness, a hidden blessing is presented. Searching for it will provide no treasure, for it is the ability to observe itself that is the gift received. A day spent praying to the porcelain god (or sitting on the porcelain throne) is difficult, monotonous, painful. A month pushes your patience threshold to the point of breaking… years however, bestow enlightenment. Depriving the mind of human interaction and the senses of stimulation for ...

“Strange… how quickly comfort and happiness can slip so silently out the crack of your doorway as one sleeps. A world of peace, suddenly disturbed from its slumber by mental and physical torment of an ongoing battle that was pushed so effortlessly to the sidelines of the mind. Balance, equilibrium, are words that I once understood so well, words that I must fight desperately to understand again. If I can just maintain a center of gravity I must be able ...

The road less traveled is always overgrown with brush and bramble. Obstacles and danger may hinder ones ability to reach their final destination. There are bright beautiful peaks and dark hidden valleys. At some points you are so low you wonder if the Sun will ever shine upon your face again, desperately seeking its warmth and comfort. At other times you feel like you have reached the summit of the highest mountain, a view so spectacular that everything seems to ...

Instinct… an animal’s response to specific stimuli, engrained deep within after thousands of years of evolution. This behavioral hardwiring is intended with one purpose and one purpose only, life… either to pro-create or pro-long it. A clap of thunder, seek shelter; Attracted, court; Opposing sex is in heat, mate; Smells good, eat; Stronger than you, submit; Weaker than you, fight. The list goes on and on, and for many animals this will be the basis that they live their lives ...

Forgive me in advance if this post lacks some of the luster of the previous. I currently have poison coursing through my veins, eating away at nerves, my thoughts, my memories, my mind…. yet, it is the front line of my battle against a disease that cripples so many, that takes from us countless loved ones. Shock and Awe, is that what they call it? A campaign that jolts people suddenly out of their normal thought process so that they ...

Freshly shaved, my head is exposed to the blistering winds, the dry, bitter cold of this dragging winter. However, as is often true in life, exposure has its benefits. A brisk walk of the dogs along the gusty Charles, I’ll remove my hat as the sun peaks through the clouds, warmth trickles in, revitalizing, nourishing, healing. Shower time, as every droplet cascades towards my naked skull it plays a symphony on the nerves, warming, cleansing, rinsing. Visualization is key, “the ...

Belief… like a heated stone tossed into a cool, still pond. Warm nourishing ripples spread outwards from the soul and not only give strength to ones own physical being, but lap encouragingly against others as it spreads further from its source. The ripple is absorbed, reflected, returned and even sent on to others. As that gentle ripple meets another believing source, it is not only reflected, but amplified and the ripple grows stronger. Add another source, and another and what ...