For every negative, there is a positive. With debilitating illness, a hidden blessing is presented. Searching for it will provide no treasure, for it is the ability to observe itself that is the gift received. A day spent praying to the porcelain god (or sitting on the porcelain throne) is difficult, monotonous, painful. A month pushes your patience threshold to the point of breaking… years however, bestow enlightenment. Depriving the mind of human interaction and the senses of stimulation for ...
extended periods of time leaves you with one simple yet intricate process, thought. Through this process I have developed what has come to be my own version of “The Secret.” It is slightly more compact and definitely disagrees with some primary principles but I believe it works and therefore feel it is necessary to share my knowledge with you.
However, for enlightenments sake I ask that you read the following with an open mind and accept everything that I say as fact until finished reading. Upon completion of reading this article the reader shall share said article with his / her network through social media with their honest opinion. By continuing to read you are accepting this agreement and actions requested are legal and binding. =-)
With that little tidbit out of the way I present to you the first of three principles on the Path to Everything or Nothing.
Delusions of Grandeur – Despite all of the ethical lessons your parents, teachers and society have taught you since you were child I am here to once again break down your foundation of thought and reveal the truth: Perhaps one of life’s biggest ironies is that a phrase society reserves for the mentally ill may actually be the correct way of thinking: The world really does revolve around you. Newton’s third law of physics doesn’t just hold true to the physical realm but carries over to the metaphysical universe. Make no mistake about it, everything you think, feel and act upon has a direct re-action to the world around you even if that re-action is nothing. Oftentimes NOTHING has greater impact on your world than something. For example, some thoughts that lead to nothing are “I am too old to do something different,” “I’m going to be alone forever,” “it is too difficult,” “I’m too weak,” “I’m too tired,” “I’m too stupid,” “I’m not qualified,” “I’m not going to ever get a job,” and “I’m going to die.” All of these thoughts whether true or false, can lead to acceptance, and acceptance will lead to placidity, and then what once was false now becomes truth. Your entire world is crashing because of inaction, because of doing NOTHING. “Of course!” you say, how can anyone be successful with such negative thinking. Wrong. To flip the script and follow “The Secret.” The world around you is driven by desire and everything you think and believe drives what you receive. “I am successful,” “I am healthy,” “I am in good shape,” “I am going to get a good job,” “I am qualified,” “I am going to live.” Think these thoughts and your wish becomes reality right? Wrong. Again all of these thoughts whether true or false can lead to acceptance, and acceptance once again will lead to placidity, and then what once was false now…. can stay false? What does this mean? It means the real issue at hand is not the thought in itself, it is the acceptance of the thought! The lack of an emotionally fueled response to that thought. The inability to act.
The problem with “The Secret” is that its driving factor is accepting and believing in a state of where you want to be. The thought:”I am healthy,” is acceptance and when you accept you become placid. The real driving force to everything is the desire to CHANGE and therefore require action. The negative thought “I am unhealthy” and the positive thought “I am healthy” both trigger emotionally different responses but they ultimately lead to inaction unless the correct, positive, change oriented response is reached: “I want to be healthier.”
Parts two and three to be continued…
Update on my Health: Tomorrow I will be starting the 8th cycle of my FOLFIRI Erbitux Regiment. I changed chemotherapies at the beginning of the year due to the cancer cells in my body growing resistance to the past regiment of FOLFIRI Avastin. The cancer cells in my lungs, liver and a new bone metastases in my manubrium (the top center of your sternum) were beginning to reach 2 centimeters in growth and my CEA tumor marker was reaching 16 or so. Upon starting the new regiment the majority of growths halted and shrank back to millimeters in size and have decreased CEA levels around 2-3.0 (Normal.) My body responds to this chemotherapy much differently than previous, my mind is a lot more lucid allowing me to read and work earlier but, my stomach tends to turn quickly and explosively, I also get a rash on my face, neck, body and arms that ranges in appearance and feel from acne and Chicken pox to an extreme sunburn. This makes my cycles every 21 days opposed to 14 to let the rash calm itself. The extra time is bittersweet as I am able to do a lot more in my off time however, the skin sensitivity makes it difficult to do as many outdoor activities when sunny out. Although I am somewhere around my 40th chemotherapy cycle I am still healthy as ever and continue to eat and exercise regularly. Treatment has turned from a sprint into a marathon as we continue to shrink and stabilize the disease as more effective treatments are developed. As I have said from the beginning, I will keep moving forward toward the finish line until I have drained every last drop of this disease from my body. There should be a CT Scan in the next two weeks, I will keep you posted.
All of my Love
p.s. Congrats to Shelia my Infusion nurse on being nominated to be one of “The 100.”