Recovering from surgery is a long and emotionally trying process. Each day you wait patiently for improvement, for your limb, shoulder, hip, heart, bowels, or whatever was operated on to return to some level of normalcy or regularity. You wait eagerly to get on with your life… maybe even, your new and improved life, as the surgery treated some discomfort, pain or ailment.
Recovering from surgery while fighting cancer is different, it is no longer only a process to return to ...
normal, but a time to try and regain strength, focus, resilience. After surgery life doesn’t simply go on, it is not guaranteed, instead you are returning from a short “medical” leave and then urgently shipped back to the battlefield.
During my first month after a sigmoid colon resection I saw a lot of physical healing to my actual incisions, but felt little improvement to my internal digestion process. Painful cramping, bloating, indigestion, countless trips to the bathroom, accompanied by endless hours of insomnia left me weak and in a fog. When in darkness you grasp for the smallest amount of light and trudge forward, and I had my army and torches to help guide me. The fog lasted until about Christmas day and then something amazing happened, my own little miracle, as if someone flipped on a light switch my body decided it was time to start working again. What plagued me for the past month suddenly gave way to better digestive habits, decreasing pains, and a little bit more sleep. It was just in time as my body had withered down to a measly 130 lbs. But in my mind, 130 lbs is a great platform to build on! Over the next three weeks I ate pretty much everything in sight, trying to gain as much weight, strength and energy back as possible. As my energy returned and immune system stabilized I was even able to treat my beautiful fiance Amanda to a romantic New Years dinner on the town which included a delicious glass of Malbec (my first glass of wine in 6 months.) Basically, my life returned to normal for three weeks and I was happy, we were happy. It was if there was a cease fire called on the battlefield to celebrate the new year, the front lines on either sides had time to sit back and gaze at the stars, and if you stared at them long enough you might even forget about the battle around you… 
The harsh reality with cancer, especially stage IV cancer is that even when you remove everything you can see, there is sometimes some you can’t see and it likes to return. As the light switches on for my body to heal and regain strength, it is also turning on the green light to continue my treatment, to continue my fight to prevent this disease from returning. Come Monday the cease fire is over and the battle starts again. My remaining treatment includes 6 more cycles of FOLXFOX chemotherapy (48 hours on and 12 days off for 12 weeks) which will be promptly followed by 25 radiation treatments (5 days on, 2 days off for 5 weeks.) Just as I said on day one, I believe I am going to beat this challenge, I am going to beat this illness, that I remain on my “Path to a Cure“: “I firmly believe I will reach this goal, and that all of your support, prayers, emails and votes of confidence will only push me harder until I have driven every …last…. drop… of this disease from my body.“
Well troops, it looks like we are on the final leg on this triathlon, this battle against cancer. The first leg we pounded the monster into submission, the chemotherapy shrunk and killed the tumors, weakening their defenses and allowing more effective surgeries. The Second leg we attacked, destroyed, and surgically removed its 9 outposts throughout my liver and its homebase of operations in my colon. Now on the third and final leg we are going to wipe out any of the stragglers, the splinter cells, the killers hiding deep inside, because when it comes to cancer cells, we show no mercy. Make no mistake about it, this is war and the enemy wants to kill you, so when the red light switches on, ALL WEAPONS FIRE. Much Love – Teej
14 Comments
joe roller January 10, 2012
10/9/2015 05:52:15 pm
Teej,
Joann spano krutainis January 10, 2012
10/9/2015 05:56:18 pm
Thanks for the update TJ…….Hope your are feeling ok. keep fighting young man. You have a huge army behind you. you and Amanda look wonderful in this picture. Love and peace.
Bob January 10, 2012
10/9/2015 05:56:41 pm
TJ- keep up the fight. I was Stage III Colon with over 50% in lymphnodes – took one day at a time and still here 11 years later. You are way tougher than me after reading your diary! Keep up the fight. I know it is hard. But, before you know it you will be visiting your Oncologist for your annual checkup and having him review your records and saying “Wow! Good for you.” You will be in my thoughts and I’ll mention your struggle next time I communicate with the Big Guy. Never quit. You will do
Andria Rose January 10, 2012
10/9/2015 05:57:05 pm
You always make me feel better. With every blog you reassure me that there is always a fight, and there will always be hope. A very close friend of mine is battling cancer, and although I have been a part of my brother-in-laws fight, I haven’t been able to remember how important it is to stay positive. I can’t imagine in a million years what it must feel like to endure such pain, but I do know how miserable it is to watch someone go through physical and emotional agony. My friend, as are you, is the most resilient, inspiring person. You both make me feel like anything is possible. Just when I begin to feel down again, your blog always renews my sense of hope and goodness. Please stay strong…all of us need you.
Eileen Stirling Peros January 10, 2012
10/9/2015 05:57:27 pm
Thinking of you TJ. Keep up the good fight!
janice milley January 11, 2012
10/9/2015 05:57:49 pm
Dear TJ,
Liz Macone January 11, 2012
10/9/2015 05:58:09 pm
Keep up the good work TJ. You are in my thoughts on a daily basis. I know how hard it is to recover from this surgery, but don’t rush it. Take it and easy and you will get there. Keep up the positive attitude.
Jill DeMarco Coppney January 12, 2012
10/9/2015 05:58:34 pm
I read this today and thought of you. Thinking and praying for you often. Keep up the good fight.
Margot Broom January 12, 2012
10/9/2015 05:58:56 pm
Love you so much Teej.
mom January 17, 2012
10/9/2015 05:59:20 pm
Well, as you said the cease fire is off and the battle continues. As I sat across from you and watched them connect you to the “poison” that will continue to kill all those little stragglers that may have been hiding and waiting to attack I was so very proud of your courage. You sit in the chair and say “bring it on” and smile while saying it. I on the other hand clench my fist and pray that you remain strong along with Amanda who sat by your side. I am not in your shoes but I am certainly feeling the pain as every parent does when something so atrocious attacks one of our children.
francesca lafiura noon January 17, 2013
10/9/2015 05:59:42 pm
Hi Jackie
francesca lafiura noon January 17, 2013
10/9/2015 06:00:10 pm
Hi Jackie
David Wilson January 18, 2012
10/9/2015 06:00:34 pm
TJ,
Mimi LaCamera January 23, 2012
10/9/2015 06:01:00 pm
TJ, I am your mom and dad’s next door neighbor on Beacon St. and every time I see your parents I ask about you. It’s wonderful to be able to read your blog. I know it’s an enormous outlet for you, but it’s a genuine gift you are giving to family and friends as you so eloquently describe what you are going through. I’ve had friends who have navigated these waters before you who have survived the horrors to create rich, full and meaningful lives. You have a terriffic set of partners – your family, Amanda and friends – who are with you all the way. It can’t feel easy to always say tomorrow is another day, but indeed it is another day when the one you’re experiencing is pretty crappy. Please know there is an extended circle of care that you are not even aware of. Hope the good karma from beyond makes the journey better Leave a Reply. |
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