So I want to let everyone know I am doing my best to keep you all informed on what is happening. At the same time, my writing is a therapeutic and emotional way to express myself, so the last thing I want to do is water down my blogs just to get content out there. So please be patient, I promise it will keep coming. I am feeling okay today, had some bouts of nausea from the chemo and tingling from the Oxaliplatin but it is nothing a funny movie, lunch with a good friend, and some meds can’t handle. But today I don’t really want to talk about chemo side effects. Today, I want to to talk about something a little more serious than my usual light hearted self, something a lot of people have been asking me about. I want to talk about the importance of paying attention to your body when it is asking for help. If I didn’t start listening, I might not of even had a chance to fight this thing.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011 I was relaxing at home with Amanda and the dogs after a beautiful and relaxing memorial day weekend. As I sat down on the couch a dull throbbing pain in my upper abdomen and some very uncomfortable bloating began to develop. Amanda was quick to notice my discomfort and asked what was wrong and I was equally quick to explain away the symptoms and that they were due to eating too much junk food all weekend long. (A benefit of having grandparents living down the cape is constant access to the best foods imaginable! Chocolate Chip Cookies, Ice Cream, Peanut M&M’s, the list goes on.) As the next couple days passed the bloating increased and the pain remained fairly constant. After staying awake much of Wednesday night with cramping I decided something must be wrong and that Thursday morning I would go check in at work and then take a quick trip to the emergency room at Emerson Hospital. I arrived at an empty emergency room (“thank god” I thought) at about 9:45 am, I was very politely greeted by the nurse, questioned on my symptoms and ushered to a room where they would be in to see me shortly. The nurse who would be taking care of me came into the room and instantly recognized me. “I knew you as a baby, you look just like your father,” she said and proceeded to ask how my family was. After familiarities were exchanged, I briefly reviewed the past 26 years of my life that passed since Maureen last took care of me . She knew me well as a baby, I was a frequent visitor of Emerson being a 9 1/2 week old premi with breathing problems, seizures and attached to a heart monitor that lasted for about two years. I beat that challenge too.
“Well let me give some background on what’s been happening and then give you my more recent symptoms,” I said. “I have had heartburn going back to since I was in college. I have not had it for a few months now since I have been eating a healthier ‘slow carb diet’. I am thinking some of this could be due to a drastic change in diet this weekend with all the junk food I ate, but I figure, you’re better safe than sorry right?” She nodded and smiled in agreement. I continued “Recently I started getting cramps, pain and bloating in my upper abdomen to the point where it as been difficult to sleep at night.”
“Does the pain usually increase or feel better after eating?” She asked. “To be perfectly honest, I am not sure, It kind of comes and goes and I can’t really figure out if it is related to when I eat. Also I have had some blood in my stool, mostly just on the toilet paper.” She begins to ask “what color is the blood, bright red or ….” “It is bright red, I figure it is just hemorrhoids or something similar as it has come and gone since I was in college,” I concluded quickly. I knew through plenty of reading already that darker or black blood is usually related to a problem high in your gastro-intestinal track like your esophagus or stomach. Maureen(my nurse) proceeded to draw about 6 vials of blood for multiple tests to check if anything could be identified as wrong in my body. The blood tests were as follows:Magnesium, CPK, Serum Amaylase, Lipase, Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (CMP) and a Complete Blood Count (CBC.) The Doctor came in and performed some basic physical tests, pressing around my abdomen and asking if I was experiencing any pain. Soon after he said your blood tests came back and are 110% healthy. “I am going to discharge you with “gastritis” (an inflammation of the stomach,) recommend that you take Prilosec daily and have a follow up with a gastroenterologist as it is not common for someone of your age to have heartburn. If the symptoms improve over the next few days you should be good to go.” Over the next two weeks my symptoms fluttered to better, quickly reversed back to bad and then dipped to worse. I tried to schedule an appointment with Middlesex Gastroenterology for as soon as possible. After a couple calls and being placed on their cancelation list the very polite assistants at the front desk slid me in for an appointment on Monday morning of June 20, 2011. After a similar procedure of questioning about symptoms, pressing and tapping on my abdomen the gastroenterologist scheduled me for an upper endoscomy or EGD for Wednesday June 22, 2011. An EGD is an examination of the lining of the esophagus, stomach, and upper duodenum with a small camera (flexible endoscope) which is inserted down the throat . On the day of the procedure, I was given some nice drugs and happily drifted to sleep until the EGD was completed. After my recovery the Dr. went on to explain some unusual but important news. It seems that I had an extremely inflamed stomach and had an onset of “Barret’s Esophagus.” Barrets is when the lining of your throat is damaged due to too much acid and stomach bile. The esophagus then builds up a tissue similar to that of your intestines to protect it from the acid. This is a good defense mechanism, however, it also makes your esophagus more susceptible to cancer. He said other than that everything looks ok, no signs of cancer and that he took some biopsies of the tissue to be safe. My Biopsy Report and discharge instructions:
Now prepping for a Colonoscopy ninety-nine times out of a hundred is going to be worse than the procedure or the results. Normally I’d get it to the humor and the jokes of how gross it is, but that didn’t happen for me… I woke up to a pool of blood on my gurney and post-operation meeting where the Dr. bluntly stated… “We found a mass in your Colon. I can not tell if it cancerous or not but we performed biopsies. I will tell you that regardless of its make up there is a 90% chance you will have to have surgery to remove the mass. I have you scheduled for a CT Scan tomorrow morning at 8:00 am at Emerson Hospital.” At that moment, all of the stories, the truths of past family medical history, the crutches I relied on to stay sane crumbled beneath me. The continued assurances that I was fine and that “what you feel” happens to me, or this person or that person too, disappeared. That night was the only time in this challenge that I was truly scared, I was terrified, I felt alone, I cried. I decided I needed to let some of my friends know what was going on, so I wrote: Subject: Reason for being MIA Lately. Hi Boys, Incase I have been out of touch lately I just wanted to apologize, there has been a lot going on lately. You guys being my best friends I felt you should know, and I sort of needed to get it off my chest. After being in and out of the ER and hospital for the past month because of stomach problems I finally had a colonoscopy done today. They found a growth in my large intestine, but they have yet to determine whether it is cancerous or not but did take some biopsies to test. Because of the severity of the situation they have scheduled a cat scan for 8 am tomorrow morning to determine the size, depth, and if there are anymore in my body. Then I have an office visit follow up on Monday to I assume review the biopsy results and the next steps. So as of right now there is a 90% chance that I will have to have surgery to remove the growth regardless of the biopsy results. I am just praying it is not cancerous, and incase it is in fact colon cancer, then praying is is in very early stages. No need to call, I need some rest and I will let you guys know when I find out… just do me a favor and keep your fingers crossed. Love Teej Well, as a new day dawned, my email made its rounds and my prayers came crashing back to earth. The CAT scan revealed that not only was the growth cancerous, but it was stage IV cancer and spreading through my body. As I could see tears in the doctor eyes, trembling in my families hands, and fear in my friends voices, I found that the fear had left my body completely. I made a decision at that moment that I was going to live. I now knew what I had to do, and with knowledge came strength. With the emotion that I could see in my family and friends came determination to never let them down. And at that moment my journey to Beat the Challenge had begun. That’s when I wrote my first blog post: At the Starting Line. I Love you All- Teej p.s. I hope no one takes this blog the wrong way, there is no way anyone could have known, predicted or guessed that I would have what I have. A 28 year old with Stage IV Colon Cancer is extremely rare and it is not your fault or anybodies fault. I am only writing this so people can take my information and move forward with it. If you feel like something is wrong, go get it checked!!! It is a Doctor’s, Father’s, Mother’s, Daughter’s, Boyfriend’s, Girlfriend’s, Sister’s, Brother’s, Family’s job to make you feel better. So they will almost always say “Ive had something similar, i’m sure you will be fine.” It is in our nature to say that. But if you feel like something is wrong, the least you can do is get it checked. It may save your life some day, as it will save mine. p.p.s. Want to know what my very first symptom was? My entire life I could never make myself burp, as a little kid my friends would all be burping everything from the ABC’s to National Anthem. I could drink an entire soda without one single belch. Obviously one would slip out once and a while, but it was not very common. Well three years ago, guess what? Something in my body started to form and all the sudden I started to burp…. By the way Pop Dukes looks exactly like Patrice Bergeron here in the feature imaged.
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Two of the most significant changes in my life came in the second half of 2009. On July 14, I met my girlfriend Amanda on the steps of the Boston Public Library. As she turned the corner and came into view my heart skipped a beat, she was beautiful, I knew then and there that she was going to be the one I …….Well, before I get off track I think we’ll save that for another time, another blog or maybe someday ...
Happy Tuesday Everyone,
So as you can imagine, not only does Cancer cause you to drastically rethink what food you put in your body and how you treat it, having Cancer in your digestive organs makes it a bit more complicated. I decided on day one that I am going to win this challenge and obviously the best course of action would be to follow my childhood heroes motto of “knowing is half the battle.” Since that point I have been ...
Hi All,
Sorry for not checking in in the past few days. I literally have been working from morning to night building a website, except for a quick break to go for a 5 mile run. The website is not 100% complete yet, but it has the majority of the content I want up there for people to see and has my blog inside of it. So you will be able to do everything from follow my fight, to purchase some gear (more coming soon), to learn more information on the disease. I am going to automatically redirect people visiting this website to there by the end of the day. Check it out at http://www.beatthechallenge.org Much Love – Teej
Hi All, So as of 10:00 am this morning I was officially done with my first treatment of Chemo and able to store my new fashion accessory/weapon holster in the closet for a little less than two weeks. So far I really haven’t hit too many major side effects (which could still come for another day or so.) The only really weird one is cold sensitivity caused by the Oxaliplatin drug. Basically I can’t touch or drink anything cold, otherwise the area I touch it with petty much gets pins and needles for an extended period of time. The other stuff like nausea I have medication for and will just tough it out as it happens.
I did find out however that they officially changed my chemo treatment from the aggressive FOLFIRINOX (5-FU, Leucovorin, Irinotecan, Oxaliplatin) to what sounds like a slightly more standard treatment of FOLFOX Avastin (5-FU, Leucovorin, Oxaliplatin, Avastin.) Speaking with my nurse Nikki we think this may be due to the scans that I talked about in this blog (A Small Victory Before….) and so they can always break out the big guns as a back up plan. It always feels good to know there is a back up plan. This also means that I no longer have to go in tomorrow for the white blood cell booster shot which means another day off from the hospital for me =-P. Ok, enough with the “sciencey” stuff, just know the Big C is in his corner getting a couple stitches above the eye while I’m pushing the water bottle away because I’m fresh and ready to go for round 2. Also, “Team TJ” for the Get Your Rear in Gear 5K is really starting to explode and I am beyond impressed with the outpouring of support. I just want everyone to know that it may be my name on the team, but this goes to benefit everyone out there as Colon Cancer is the #2 Cancer Killer behind Lung Cancer and kills about 55,000 people in the US every year. So please keep forwarding this:http://events.getyourrearingear.com/site/TR/Boston/General?pg=team&fr_id=1072&team_id=1231 to your friends, co-workers, family, whoever you think may support the cause and even the people you think may not, you may be suprised. Let’s Build an Army bigger than GYRIG has seen before and beat this thing once and for all. Much Love – Teej p.s. I totally should have photoshopped bigger biceps and deltoids in there…. not getting any more MGH nurses by my bedside like that. Goodthing, I have the GF.
I just wanted to give you all a quick little blog update. I finished my first two hours and two drugs of Chemo-therapy this morning. The Drugs my infusion nurse Shiela administered in hospital were Oxaliplatin, and Leucovorin, they gave me a boost of 5-FU (Fluorouracil) and then hooked me up with the latest fashion trend.
Don’t be surprised if you see a new wave of man purses take over the south end after people see me rocking this new look. Then again…….. it’s the south-end I might be a little late to the party Much Love – Teej p.s. the pump basically pushes more 5-FU into my body for another 46 hours straight. I get disconnected on Wednesday. As Peter would say, “I’m plugged into the matrix.” So don’t be surprised if you see me flying around and dodging bullets by the end of this. p.p.s Next round of chemo we introduce another drug to the therapy called Avastin. The infusion of the drug was put on hold so the port installation surgery could completely heal. The entire chemo treatment acronym I believe is FOLFOX Avastin. The Calm before the Storm…Posted by: TJ Baudanza Tonight, I curl up in my comfortable bed with my beautiful girlfriend and have my last peaceful, relaxing, sweet dreams for…. well, for sometime…. Tomorrow…… Tomorrow, the battle begins against one of the worst enemies we have come to know in this day and age. It affects all of us and attacks and kills relentlessly regardless of age, health, strength, social status or race. I am not a hero, or a soldier, or a warrior, where I can take this fight to the battlefield. What I am is a son, a boyfriend, a brother, a grandson, a nephew, a cousin, a uncle and a best friend, and those, those are reasons I am going to fight this disease. Those are the reasons I am going to win. YOU all are the reasons. I want to show you that there is no reason to be afraid in life, regardless of where the challenge comes from or who the opponent may be, because the most rewarding thing in life is stepping up to a challenge, looking it dead in the eye and saying “bring it.” Now Cancer, I think its time for you to get the F&#K out of my body because you messed with the wrong person and I have an army of positive thoughts, vibes and prayers behind me. So BRING IT. youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbIlLmCID5g
Two of my favorite people: Amanda’s sister Jess and her betrothed James took the effort to create “Team TJ” for a 3 mile walk to benefit the Colon Cancer Coalition. So while I’m beating the crap out of this disease, this walk looks to create awareness, raise funds to prevent, detect and treat it. I think we all agree actions speak louder than words, so if you can help out in anyway, sign up (or share this blog with your friends) and help me kick this things ass. Her original email is below:
Hi Everyone, James and I signed up for the 2011 Boston “Get Your Rear In Gear Challenge” an event to benefit the Colon Cancer Coalition, and to support TJ of course! We want to make a difference for him and the thousands of people in the community touched by colon cancer. The funds we raise will help with prevention, early detection and treatment for this disease. It’s a 5K (3 mile) run/walk in Boston on Saturday, November 12, 2011. We registered a team for all of us called “Team TJ!” that anyone can join who would like to participate and help in the Challenge! Here’s the “Team TJ!” page where you can join the team, sign up, make donations and see our progress! http://events.getyourrearingear.com/site/TR/Boston/General/1822419281?pg=team&fr_id=1072&team_id=1231 Please pass our team info and link on to any other family and friends who you think would want to join or help! I know Teej has a billion friends and family members who I don’t know and obviously missed in this email, but it’s the more the merrier! Thanks Everyone! Love, Jess & James I had a little trouble figuring out what to click once I got there. So if you want to partake, just look at the list of names that is lower on the page, directly to the right of where it says “Team TJ” click the blue “Join Team” link. If you wish to support a specific person on the team, just click on their name. Everyday I am more and more amazed of how wonderful you all are. Your support only makes me stronger, and you bet your ass I will be running in this thing. Much Love – Teej p.s. The sperm bank was a little awkward, the tech/nurse assured me that the sample jars are the same ones they use for urine collection and that “nobody ever fills the cup.” lol
Today I had the port-a-cath inserted below my right clavicle bone. This will be the median by which we launch the first attack on this disease. You can check out what the port looks like here: http://bardaccess.com/port-powerport.php. I will take some pictures to show you guys my new third nipple as soon as the incisions heal and I can correct this crazy lopsided chest hair shave they got going on lol. I am definitely a little sore from the surgery, but nothing some meds and a funny movie can’t fix (Thanks Brian S. for a good list of movies.) I will say, the place was perfect timing with this heat wave, who want’s to be outside in that gross humidity anyway. Thanks to the medical team today for making things as smooth as possible. (NP- Melissa, MD – Taj, Tech – Kelly, & RN- Audrey.) You are all awesome and made me feel very comfortable and at ease.
So I know the big C is a huge downer for everyone but, you know what’s pretty cool? An excuse to buy a hole new drawer full of exercise clothes. All in all I bought a Livestrong hoodie, hat, shorts, windbreaker and three t-shirts. The official Colon Cancer color is Royal Blue so I obviously ordered everything in their blue & yellow colors. Going to be the sexiest cancer fighter this side of the charles…. well, probably not… but at least I will match Love you All – Teej p.s. I messed up on my blog yesterday and the cryo isn’t until tomorrow. Hopefully I am not still so sore… well, at least I’m a lefty. (*crosses self* again)
So I don’t start my chemo-therapy until Monday morning and I think as most would assume I am trying to party it up as much as possible before this battle gets underway. Just laying around trying to get as much booze, fried food and sleep in me as possible….. haha. I am just kidding, but there are a few things I want to get done before this thing gets underway.
Between yesterday and today I accomplished goal number #1 on my bucket list of awesome things to do before chemo starts. A nice relaxing visit to…… the dentist. Luckily I only had to get 6… yup, count em, 6 cavities drilled and filled. To be honest, the dentist Dr. Bloom made things as smooth and easy as possible and I didn’t feel a thing. But I will let you in on a little secret: the part that made it all worth while was getting X-rays and a teeth cleaning from a beautiful brunette hygienist. I think I might just have to ask her for her number next time. I may be wrong, but it definitely felt like something was there, like love at first sight. Even though she was wearing a mask, those gorgeous brown eyes looked really familiar and I could swear i’ve known her for years! Well, there is always next time right….? Anyway, enough of the day dreaming. Tomorrow looks to be another exciting day filled with my favorite activities and #2 on my bucket list of awesome things to do before chemo starts. A trip to New England Cryogenics, also known as…… the sperm bank. Well, I guess I wasn’t too far off on the favorite activity thing….. just kidding Ma! hehe, hope I didn’t lose anyones prayers for that one (*cross myself.*) Even though the doctor assures me it is not a very common side effect of the specific drugs I will be administered during Chemo, Chemo-therapy in general poses a risk of losing some fertility “down there.” I think we would all agree that it’s better to be safe than sorry. I want to definitely have a family later on in life and this is just a way to safe-guard that. Other than my specific itemized schedule, I have been doing the whole healthy living thing. A mouth watering breakfast of bran muffin and water really hits the spot lol. But everything is well once I get outside for some exercise. My dad and I have been doing a daily 5 mile jog/walk around the charles with my dogs Miley and Oakley. The plan is to pick up the pace as time goes on and eventually turn it into a run. Sometimes I start thinking this whole thing was just gods plan to whoop me back into shape. Well, a healthy body is a healthy mind right? Anyway, tomorrow I get the port placement in my chest. Should be quick and easy. Wish me luck. Love you all – Teej p.s. Before any of you panic, or for those of you who don’t know me well…. You know that beautiful brunette hygienist? The one with the gorgeous eyes I referred to above?…..that is my girlfriend Amanda. She has been my rock through this whole thing, and yes, when I first saw her on the steps of the boston public library it most certainly was love at first sight. I should have mentioned it last blog, but better late than never….. Happy Two Year Anniversary Sweetheart, I love you more than words. (7/14/09) |
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